We staggered out of the pub, most of us blathered out of our skulls. Rohan was swinging a bottle of rum from each hand. He lost hold of one and it smashed into a parked car. Rohan went and apologised.

“I need a fuck,” Kabir said.

“Here’s a drill,” Shantanu said, handing it to Kabir. “Now go find a block of wood.”

Kabir staggered off with the drill, holding onto walls, looking down for wood.

“I want to play Tetris,” I said.

Rohan and Shantanu ran at each other and hugged. Rohan giggled and took a swig of rum. “Look, man,” he said. “We fit together so. Well.”

I started weeping. “I don’t want to have to delete you, man. I love you. You’re my best friend.”

Rohan disengaged and hugged me. “No, you’re my best friend.”

Shantanu hugged both of us. “You’re my best friend … s.”

“I couldn’t find any wood.” Kabir was hobbling back towards us. “Except …” He grinned. “… in my pants.”