Warning: Contains Nuts

E was a smooth-talker, obviously. It takes a lot to convince the government that the best way to handle politicians is to put them in a zoo.

E transformed them all into chimpanzees and had them put in nice airy cages named after the parties they belonged to. The commissioner and E would inspect the cages once in a [irrelevant] to check that the politicians were cared for. Feeding of bananas was prohibited.

Some times (because time is relative), E would take the politicians on a world tour on the back of his big flying hummingbird. Some of them would fall off because of the wind, but by the time E got the rest of them back, there would be a few more occupants in the cages. Good turnover.

The politicians usually didn’t fornicate. E had kept a banana dangling from a string in the middle of each cage, and a few crates to help the apes reach it. The banana would cower on its string, frightened of all the screeching, while the politicians would pass bits of paper around to see who got the job of getting the banana. The banana lived in intense fright, but at least it lived ever after.