Toy Court

This court does not recognise the complainant. Jimmy, I can’t see your face if you keep that stupid hat on.

This court orders the complainant to remove his stupid hat. Of course I can order you around. I’m your big sister. And I’m a court today. People do what courts say.

Yes, so do stupid boys with stupid hats.

So, Jimmy, you say Shirley took your slinky.

Will the accused please step forward? Do you swear to tell the truth, only the truth, and the complete truth …

Hold on, I forgot this bit. Yeah. Basically, don’t lie, Shirley. Did you take his slinky?

She says no, Jimmy.

Shirley, he says he lent it to you and never got it back. Yes, I know you can hear each other. But I’ll do the talking. I have been appointed the court.

Yes, I know I appointed myself. That’s alright, innit?

Jimmy, if you don’t put your tongue back into your mouth, I’m gonna tell mum on you.

Right. Mum!

Hey, where’s my teddy? It was here beside me.

Shirley! Where’s Shirley? The little shit!