I knew I’d find you at this bar. You’re addicted to the stuff, aren’t you? Listen, I’ve got it sorted. Just look at the market in taps right now. Fucking sky-high, mate. The black market is the place to deal in right now.

My neighbours are going on a long trip tomorrow. But because their luggage already exceeds allowed limits, they won’t be able to take their taps. You’re the best plumber I know, man, licensed or otherwise. When I tell you, you break into their house and steal the taps.

I have a contact who’ll get us a really good rate on slightly used taps. On the down low. I’ll even store them in case your place is raided. Nobody notices for ten days, and a good lot of cash for you.

So start smuggling your implements to me from tomorrow. A plumber without ID carrying tools looks suspicious. If you do this well, I’ll even let you have some of my stash of water. Cheers. Now drink up and I’ll stand you another one.