Listen, shithead. I want to talk to your supervisor.

What do you mean there isn’t one? Are you telling me that you’re highest up on the reception committee? Oh, you’re the ONLY one? How can that be? When we left, there were ruddy thousands of you, all building pyramids and henges and what not. Now you tell me that the whole planet’s been taken over by these ‘skyscraper’ things, and you couldn’t be bothered to maintain the landing beacons?

Listen, when we left earth, we told you we’d be back. And now no one believes in us anymore? We weren’t exactly expecting human sacrifices – though that would’ve been nice – but the least we could get is a worshipful audience, okay.

I’m not landing on a monkey some engineer put in as a joke, and that’s it. Fuck you and the planet you rode in on.