Python Sex

“Would you ever have sex with a python?”

“How much money would I be getting?”

“No money. Like a dare.”

“Depends on how much money I’d be getting.”

“No, that’s not—”

“Would you?”

“…”

“What, really?”

“It was a dare.”

“What did it feel like?”

“Narrow and squishy.”

“Ooh. That’s what a python’s cock is like?”

“It was the other way around, you dolt.”

“Ah. Makes sense. Did the python survive?”

“I don’t know. We let it go back in the jungle afterwards.”

You fucked a wild python? Did you use protection?”

“Like a python’s gonna give me a venereal disease. But yeah, I did.”

“Did it look at you ruefully while you were doing it?”

“Pythons are snakes. Their eyes don’t work properly. And anyway, I was concentrating on not letting it coil around me.”

“I wonder what went through its head.”

“… Food?”

“Wanker.”