Some months ago, I was painting my usual morning landscape, to be sold at the gallery for the usual $7000, when the pixies I had imaginatively integrated into the painting came to life and hopped and skipped out of it in entertaining tableaus.

Since then, they had been living in my residence, and I generously fed them their daily diet of dry bread through a slit in their holding box. While they did return my favour by providing me with seven large gold coins every morning, they quite ungratefully suggested I get them a bigger cage.

Last night, we had a bit of a fight, and they showed their level of deceit and conniving treachery by running away while I slept. I woke up to find that their box had been chewed through and I had been left an installment of gold coins, as if it made up for all that I had done for them.

They range from 3 inches to 8 inches and are coloured a pleasant blue (although they might try to wash this off and reveal their original tacky brown skin). If returned, reward will be $20 (non-negotiable). Phone number attached. Kindly do not leave voice messages with phone number.