You can’t just cut randomly, okay? You’ve got to know where to cut. And more importantly, you’ve got to cut in style.

There was this guy I knew back in school who cut the wrong vein and bled to death. I know, I know, we can look back and laugh at him now, but how do you think he felt then?

And obviously, we also have a special on cutting codes into your skin. This can be used to confuse onlookers into thinking you are trying to express something when you’re really not.

One of our researchers believed that a certain pattern in your lacerations can lead you to the path to the true god. We fired him stat, so you can see how stringent our research methodologies are.

This, for example, was one of the patterns he talked about. Did. Not. Work.

Why does it look so fresh? Anything for science, I guess.