The previous tenant of this flat was a magician. That’s one way of explaining how the rooms are always clean, the fridge is always full, and how there’s always a hot breakfast ready for me when I wake up – whatever time that might be.

Either that, or they left a poltergeist in here, and it took a shine to me. That’s sort of flattering, having a ghost with a crush on you. But the rationalist in me thinks there might be someone stalking me, who breaks into the house to do it all. Which, while flattering, would be deeply creepy.

I haven’t decided yet. Whatever I come to believe will have repercussions on my self-esteem and the comfort I feel in the flat. It’s a difficult decision to make, and I’m going to take my time making it.