One fine night, when Dan was having sex with Mandy, his penis did not stop ejaculating. They found this out when, a little while after Dan had pulled out and they were lying in bed panting, his condom burst with a splooch sound. Later, when they found out what was going on, Mandy considered herself lucky.
The flow never stopped. By next evening, they’d called the doctor over and Mandy had made Dan hang a bucket from his waist. The doctor said Dan wasn’t the only one suffering from this, but he was one of very few. A lab took him in and tested him for a few days, but they couldn’t find out what was causing it. The doctor gave him pills to get his hormones back into balance, but that didn’t work.
Dan slowly starting feeling a little tired all the time. He realised that the constant genital leakage was taking nutrition from his body, so he began to eat at a pace that might counter this. When he slept, he had to sleep on one side and hang a pipe from his penis that let out the ejaculate into the bathroom. Mandy wouldn’t have sex with him anymore, because it was too odd to compute, and would feel weird.
Dan tried to get his company to let him work from home. They wouldn’t. The company fired him when this became irreconcilable. He then tried to find odd internet jobs he could do from home. He finally got a job as a salacious agony uncle for a downmarket men’s magazine.
Slowly, Dan became overweight, hormonally imbalanced, with a large belly, low-hanging man-breasts, and a very hairy back. Mandy left him, saying that his mind had gone dirty because of what had happened to him, and that he smelled like sleaze. After she left, the house went to seed, became a dingy place that felt like a burrow.
Mandy called a month or so later, and said that there was this chemical castration technique that might help him. Dan laughed at her, and, just before slamming the phone down, he shouted, “But don’t you understand? I’m a man, dammit!”