Big Hitter

If hitting things could solve problems, nobody would go to a court at all. They would’ve all come to Tai, who was the best in the city at hitting things.

When he came out of his mother’s womb, he punched the doctor in the face, and wouldn’t start crying until the doctor punched him back.

When Satan came out of Hell to announce the general doom of the world, Tai hit him in the stomach until he scampered back.

Tai was never a bully of the ‘why are you hitting yourself’ variety, but, in any case, people (especially faculty) generally stayed out his way at school and let him express his unnamed frustration by punching holes in the corridor walls.

When people wanted things hit, they would somehow put these in Tai’s path and wait till he passed that way.

When they wanted to give him a government reward for the general hitting of stuff, they realised the only way to do so was to lob the trophy at him from a distance. It struck him on the head and knocked him cold. He spent the next two weeks punching the award and calling the perpetrator to come forward. Looking at the state of the trophy, no one did. That got awkward.